Kate Johnson We’d finally made camp after shooting two deer. Well, I didn’t shoot anything but the others did. I was exhausted from my part in dressing and cutting strips of meat for smoking, but there was no way I could sleep now. I laid on my cardboard bedroll while the meat smoked over our fire, covered by two hides. My stomach was full of delicious venison from possibly the best meal that I have ever eaten. It reminded me of something that my Grandfather would say. “The best meal is the one sitting in front of you.” Thinking of my Grandfather, thinking of my day made me homesick. Not for my home that existed now in the smoldering rubble of Hart’s Mill but for the home that I used to have. The life I used to have. Back when I was still a child. I spotted Dahvin on his rounds patrolling the outer edge of our campsite. My life was too dangerous, too complicated and death had been so close to us today. I barely slept the night before between Dahvin shooting a man in the leg, Art catching up with us covered in Diane’s blood and Diane... Jane somehow managed to patch Diane back together after her encounter with Horsemen. The horsemen that found our camp this morning and had half of their battalion blown up by the claymore that we simply never got around to disarming the night before. I still can’t believe that amongst all of the fear and chaos Jane caught the horse that ran right at her. The explosion, the horse. Without all of it we would have never escaped. Never had been able to outrun them. We’d all be dead right now. Maybe the priests at the church were right and their deity The Fonz was looking out for us.
The fire blurred before me. So much pain and chaos in this world and ripping through my head. We left another man to die today. So many ghosts were weighing me down. Haunting my thoughts. This isn’t the person that I wanted to be. This isn’t what my parents and my grandfather wanted for me. I know it. This is what I have become and it’s a shattered, twisted person. How many people have to die in our wake? How much longer can I hold my facade of normalcy before the ghosts of my past take over. I’m to aware of my lingering insanity like a leech stuck to my ankle it’s draining me. I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always afraid and anxious. The fire did a watery dance in the darkness in front of me as I cried silently into the sleeve of my coat. I mourned the loss of my family, Jane’s family, Dahvin’s family, Art’s family. I mourned my childhood, my humanity and the humanity of everybody around me. I have never cried for any of these things before but the world was closing in on me again. My mortality has caught up with me again. ~ ~Earlier That Day... I slid off of the beast and landed a bit harder then I intended. Keep moving Kate, if you stop you won’t be able to get going again. Deep breath. I looked up at Diane, she was still in bad shape but she was conscious at least. I steadied her while Jane slid off from in front of her and we helped her down from the horse. Diane said she had some friends here at the bike store but I was just hoping for a place to rest. Maybe a corner to sleep in for awhile. We knocked on the door of the bike shop and heard a man behind ask us to come in. The smell of blood still hung in the air along with some cleaning chemicals. The floor was permanently stained brownish red in a large spot. One, two, three, four... I started tapping out the numbers on the back of my hand. Deep breath Kate, you’re alright. Inside, the man behind the counter appeared as tired and sad as I felt while he greeted Diane and then addressed the rest of us. I let out a long slow breath as he gestured to the small child with huge brown eyes next to him. Harvey jr. who had witnessed his father getting mauled by a stranger’s pet bear while the strangers stood by and allowed it to happen. My heart broke. Here I was looking right at myself from the outside. This child is me and he’s stared into the pit of human cruelty as I have. I rummage through my bag and find the chocolate bar I’d been saving breaking off a piece kneeling next to the kid and offering it to him. I could smell the chocolate and it made my own mouth water. I badly wanted to keep the bar all to myself but he needed it so much more. The tears brimming on the edge of the small child’s eyes were blinked away as he looked at me and then the piece of chocolate in my hand. He looked up at his remaining father searching for permission. Not permission to take the candy but permission to trust a stranger, to open himself up. With a nod Harvey jr carefully plucked the chocolate from my hand. His motions were all so deliberate and not carefree like most children. This has hurt him bad, deep down in a place that’s hard to fix, I know all about that type of hurt. He placed the chocolate in his mouth and a smile crept up his face as he chewed. “Papa it’s really good.” he said to his father. Harry flashed a tired smile at his son while trying to explain what happened to the others of my group.
“Come on Harvey jr.,” I said, “I heard you have the coolest toys in the whole world and I traveled a long way to see them.”
“Really?” He questioned me a bit skeptical.
“Of course.” I retorted.”Look at how thin my shoes are.” and I awkwardly showed him the bottom of my worn and dirty shoes while trying to keep my balance.
“Oh okay.” and he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back room and a bit of his confidence showed through.
~ ~Back at the fire... Lastly, I mourned for the kid who might end up like me. Crazy and sane all at the same time. Feeling himself getting worse with every new ghost he picks up in his life. Being aware of his sanity slipping with each terrible flash of memory. I hope that by bringing these people to justice tomorrow it means he’ll have a better chance at a normal life or at least I’ll be able to carry some demons so the future of humanity doesn't have to.
We’d finally made camp after shooting two deer. Well, I didn’t shoot anything but the others did. I was exhausted from my part in dressing and cutting strips of meat for smoking, but there was no way I could sleep now. I laid on my cardboard bedroll while the meat smoked over our fire, covered by two hides. My stomach was full of delicious venison from possibly the best meal that I have ever eaten. It reminded me of something that my Grandfather would say. “The best meal is the one sitting in front of you.” Thinking of my Grandfather, thinking of my day made me homesick. Not for my home that existed now in the smoldering rubble of Hart’s Mill but for the home that I used to have. The life I used to have. Back when I was still a child. I spotted Dahvin on his rounds patrolling the outer edge of our campsite. My life was too dangerous, too complicated and death had been so close to us today.
I barely slept the night before between Dahvin shooting a man in the leg, Art catching up with us covered in Diane’s blood and Diane... Jane somehow managed to patch Diane back together after her encounter with Horsemen. The horsemen that found our camp this morning and had half of their battalion blown up by the claymore that we simply never got around to disarming the night before. I still can’t believe that amongst all of the fear and chaos Jane caught the horse that ran right at her. The explosion, the horse. Without all of it we would have never escaped. Never had been able to outrun them. We’d all be dead right now. Maybe the priests at the church were right and their deity The Fonz was looking out for us.
The fire blurred before me. So much pain and chaos in this world and ripping through my head. We left another man to die today. So many ghosts were weighing me down. Haunting my thoughts. This isn’t the person that I wanted to be. This isn’t what my parents and my grandfather wanted for me. I know it. This is what I have become and it’s a shattered, twisted person. How many people have to die in our wake? How much longer can I hold my facade of normalcy before the ghosts of my past take over. I’m to aware of my lingering insanity like a leech stuck to my ankle it’s draining me. I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always afraid and anxious. The fire did a watery dance in the darkness in front of me as I cried silently into the sleeve of my coat. I mourned the loss of my family, Jane’s family, Dahvin’s family, Art’s family. I mourned my childhood, my humanity and the humanity of everybody around me. I have never cried for any of these things before but the world was closing in on me again. My mortality has caught up with me again.
~ ~Earlier That Day...
I slid off of the beast and landed a bit harder then I intended. Keep moving Kate, if you stop you won’t be able to get going again. Deep breath. I looked up at Diane, she was still in bad shape but she was conscious at least. I steadied her while Jane slid off from in front of her and we helped her down from the horse. Diane said she had some friends here at the bike store but I was just hoping for a place to rest. Maybe a corner to sleep in for awhile. We knocked on the door of the bike shop and heard a man behind ask us to come in. The smell of blood still hung in the air along with some cleaning chemicals. The floor was permanently stained brownish red in a large spot. One, two, three, four... I started tapping out the numbers on the back of my hand. Deep breath Kate, you’re alright. Inside, the man behind the counter appeared as tired and sad as I felt while he greeted Diane and then addressed the rest of us. I let out a long slow breath as he gestured to the small child with huge brown eyes next to him. Harvey jr. who had witnessed his father getting mauled by a stranger’s pet bear while the strangers stood by and allowed it to happen. My heart broke. Here I was looking right at myself from the outside. This child is me and he’s stared into the pit of human cruelty as I have. I rummage through my bag and find the chocolate bar I’d been saving breaking off a piece kneeling next to the kid and offering it to him. I could smell the chocolate and it made my own mouth water. I badly wanted to keep the bar all to myself but he needed it so much more. The tears brimming on the edge of the small child’s eyes were blinked away as he looked at me and then the piece of chocolate in my hand. He looked up at his remaining father searching for permission. Not permission to take the candy but permission to trust a stranger, to open himself up. With a nod Harvey jr carefully plucked the chocolate from my hand. His motions were all so deliberate and not carefree like most children. This has hurt him bad, deep down in a place that’s hard to fix, I know all about that type of hurt. He placed the chocolate in his mouth and a smile crept up his face as he chewed.
“Papa it’s really good.” he said to his father. Harry flashed a tired smile at his son while trying to explain what happened to the others of my group.
“Come on Harvey jr.,” I said, “I heard you have the coolest toys in the whole world and I traveled a long way to see them.”
“Really?” He questioned me a bit skeptical.
“Of course.” I retorted.”Look at how thin my shoes are.” and I awkwardly showed him the bottom of my worn and dirty shoes while trying to keep my balance.
“Oh okay.” and he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back room and a bit of his confidence showed through.
~ ~Back at the fire...
Lastly, I mourned for the kid who might end up like me. Crazy and sane all at the same time. Feeling himself getting worse with every new ghost he picks up in his life. Being aware of his sanity slipping with each terrible flash of memory. I hope that by bringing these people to justice tomorrow it means he’ll have a better chance at a normal life or at least I’ll be able to carry some demons so the future of humanity doesn't have to.